Speak for thy servant heareth

     Being away from home while attending college I always got a thrill when I heard my phone ring and I saw a  familiar number.  "Hi Pa, how are you?" was the usual reply.  Many times during these months away from home I sought counsel from my father during stressful finals week or when I needed a little extra boost for the week.  I was always waiting for those moments, listening.  Unfortunatley I became self absorbed and had taken a detour in life choosing other paths, almost opposite from my father's counsel. He would still call but during this time, my ear wasn't as in tune to that familiar voice.  I choose to listen to distractions and found myself lost and confused.  I am glad to say that since that time, I have found the path again and have opened my ears and my heart again to the counsel of a loving father.
      I was reading in 1 Samuel the other day and was reminded of my favorite example of the submissive nature of children.  As a child, Samuel's life was dedicated to the Lord, though he was unfamiliar with his ways.  One night, Samuel heard his name called, "Here am I" was his response.  After 3 encounters of heading this calling and being unfamiliar to the voice he answered a fourth time with the words

"Speak:  for they servant heareth."

    What faith, what courage we learn from a child.  Though at that time the voice was unfamiliar, he still listened.  I was brought to a rememberance of my own actions and the question came to my mind:  Do I answer as willingly as did the boy prophet Samuel?  He didn't mind the sleep he was missing or perhaps the ridicule he would get from Eli.  He didn't fear the unknown; he simply responded:  Here am I.  
      As we are counseled to become even as a child, I have realized all the improvement I still have to make to get there, but I also realized the blessings that are awaiting this change in my life.  As I listen more closely I will be giving up the distraction, the less important things in my life, the practices taht are time consuming and unproductive.  The things in life that keep me from focusing and drawing closer to family and most imporantly my God.  As I start to embrace these changes I will be ready and willing to repsond as did Samuel, "Speak: for thy servant heareth."


Learn how to be in tune to listen to the voice that will call you here!

Who am I?

Who am I?


How many times in life have we asked or heard this question? One of
the most memorable is probably from Les Miserables when Jean Valjean
is released from prison and succumbs to old habits. He receives pardon
of his wrongs and goes along his way. His past comes to haunt him and
he is faced with a choice, deciding who he is and who he will be? He
struggles with knowing "Who am I? 24601? Who am I? I'm Jean Valjean!"

This idea came from a letter I received from my brother in law. After
sharing his story with me he asked, "So who are you? I want to get to
know the real you. I've heard all about you from your sister and
family but it's best to go to the source." I know that this is true,
the source is where truth comes from. God is the source of all truth
and we need only seek him to discover it for ourselves.

Over the next few weeks I reflected on the question and I've come up with
some random thoughts. This was a wonderful journey of reflection that
I have thoroughly enjoyed and I can now say: I know who I am.

I was born in Davis County to a family with loving parents and siblings.

I was raised under the Big Sky and learned what it means to work.

I grew in the faith and among my peers I learned what it means to
"stand as a witness of God at all time and in all things, and in all
places."

I've been mocked, challenged, and I've had my back up against the wall
but more importantly I've been proved my God. I know what it means to
stand for truth and righteousness.

I've loved and served my fellow men as Christ has taught me. I'm a
sister. I'm a daughter with a divine nature. I will not succumb to the
world's ways for I was born to be a queen.

A daughter of a king I am, with many examples before me.

I am of infinite worth and my divine nature reminds me what God expects of me.

I am an heir of God, a joint-heir with Christ.

I am a child of God.

How did I get this way?

I was raised in the faith and at a young age I had the desire to grow
closer to God.

Through my years in life I've slipped and fallen in the mud but I've
never lost sight of my Father's house. I know where I am headed.

I'm trying to be like Jesus in all that I do and say.

I love my neighbor and try to always remember to forgive.

When I need comfort I read the scriptures. I seek The Lord through prayer.

I know what it means to to align my will with his and daily strive to do so.

I am not perfect, but I am working to become like my Father.

This life is our time to prepare to live with him again. As a king, his
palace is waiting for us. This life is the process through which we
build ourselves with his help to enter into his rest and enjoy his
presence.

Forget Not Thine Handmaid

It's been a while and I think that God reminded me of that yesterday.  I was going through the day and working on the tasks at hand, then some news hit me that sent me straight into a wall.  Why was this happening?  What could I do so far from the situation to help?  What was being asked of me? 
Questions raced through my mind and I was at the point of desperation as I know we all get to from time to time and then I was reminded of a scripture


     "And he said unto me: Knowest thou the condescension of God?

      And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless,

      I do not know the meaning of all things."  1 Nephi 11:16-17

We don't know the will of God.  We don't understand the will of God, but we CAN come to align our will with his and then find peace through difficult times.  I know that God loves his children for I am his daughter.  He loves me and he gave me the comfort I needed as I knelt before him in humble prayer.  The comfort didn't come in the form I was hoping or in the way I would have thought it would come, but it did come in the way that He knew I needed.  It came to my mind as scriptures.  My answer was simply to keep going, to push forward and do what I knew was necessary.  These are a few of the scriptures or quotes that came to mind.

 

• This too shall pass
• Extreme pressure creates diamonds
• Onward and upward
• "I will not leave thee comfortless" John 14:18
• "Fear not I am with you" Isaiah 41:10
• "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
   In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:4-5
•  "And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage. And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions." Mosiah 24:13-14
• "My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment.  And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes."  D&C 121:7-8

The one phrase that stuck out the most was "if thou endure it well." What does it mean to endure it well?  I have found that it doesn't mean that we will magically be relieved from the task, that things will be perfect, that this sorrow or pain will suddenly vanish.  It does mean, that if we patiently wait and learn what the Lord is trying to teach us and the things that will make us stronger, we will have a better understanding of why things happen in this life.  We will be blessed with the comfort during these difficult times, we will receive the strength we are seeking in a different but better way than we could have imagined. 

Instead of looking outwardly at trials as punishments we should turn to the Lord and plead for his help, in his way, for he know the best remedy, the remedy we need.

Please feel free to comment with your own thoughts or favorite scriptures that have given you peace in times of trouble. 

Looketh on the Heart

    There have been many times in my life in various school, work, or team situations where I find myself "judging a book by the cover."  In doing this I not only am being unkind but I also miss out on many great opportunities.  It could have been a great friendship, the chance to learn new skills, or even the ability to help someone who needs my help.
     Even further I realized that as time went on I was becoming angry or frustrated with people over silly, simple things.  I was choosing to take offense rather than try to listen or discern the intent with which something was said.  This leads me to a very humbling experience I had with a verse of scripture in the Bible.  "But the LORD looketh on the heart."  (1 Sam. 16:7)
     This verse spake to me a lesson.  Just because someone's actions or words do not please my eyes or the eyes of the world does not mean those things are not pleasing to the Lord.  "The LORD looketh on the heart." ...or the intent with which something is done.  As I sat reflecting on all the times I thought wrongfully of others because of their "wrong" actions (in my eyes) I found myself thinking about all I had done during the last weeks.  My eyes were opened to all of my faults and I was humbled.  I am no better than another student, a coworker, or teammate.  I fact, I am probably worse.  As I was pondering these things I was over come with a sense of peace.  I know that God still loved me regardless of my faults because..."[He] looketh on the heart."  As I try to do good things, there are times I will come up short, that I may not live up to someone else's expectations, but God knows the intents of my heart.  I know he lives, he loves me, he knows me.  With this new understanding of the unconditional love I am given I have an overwhelming drive to express this same love and kindness to those around me.  I have chose to "look on the heart."

By Small and Simple Things

    I will never forget some wonderful advice I was given to think about by one of my leaders.  We were talking and discussing the wonderful and miraculous work we had the privilege of being a part of.  As we were understanding just how grand this task was, there came some thoughts of inadequacy.  We understood the importance of this work and what was at stake if it was not completed.  He shared  some thoughts about this task laid before him.  As he thought about all that would be required to complete the job he was reminded of advice he had been given."By small and simple things are great things brought to pass."  He thought to himself, "Well I'm small and simple compared to all of this, but I have a promise that this will be brought to pass."  I was grateful for his example of positivity.
    Sometimes when we face overwhelming tasks it is easier to turn negative, but if we turn our thoughts the other way, we will have a vision of success or the final product.  As a missionary, this concept has been very vital to learn.  I may be small and simple too, but collectively we are mighty.  I work with my leaders, family, friends, and most importantly the Lord.  When things get tough, as they do frequently, I have to remind myself that the power behing me is stronger than the one trying to push me back.
    By small and simple things like reading my scriptures every day to prepare spirituatlly, by taking the time to plan and to pray, by seeking guidance and help from the Lord I know great things, MIRACLES can happen.  As I try my best, as I treat others kindly, as I focus my thoughts on my Savior, I show my will to keep the commandments.  As I do my part, I konw the Lord will keep his promise and great things will come to pass.
    What are small and simple things in your life that have brought about miracles?

Prove Me

     I remember many times hearing, seeing, and experiencing the trial of approval on the playground in the words: prove it.  Sometimes it was skipping one bar or two on the monkey bars, others times it was racing to a destination.  Ultimately it was to gain approval or acceptance from others.  Oh how grand was the feeling of acceptance when the task was accomplished!  And what excitement I saw and even myslef demonstrated when doing the task.  It was easy to want to do this knowing the result.  This was a lesson I learned at a small age and quie recently I needed a reminder of as an adult.
     With how much excitement or motivation do I face similar trials today?  Definately not the same degree as I did when I was a child.  Sometimes we find ourselves with our backs to a wall, with no outlet, hearing those same words:  prove it.  How glad I was to stumble upon a twist to this phrase.  In Psalms 26: 2 it reads, "Examine me, O Lord and prove me; try my reins and my heart."  We may not always know why we face some very difficult trials, but we can take comfort knowing that the Lord knows why.  He knows us, and because he knows us, he also knows what we can handle, what we will become as a result of such things.
     With this new insight I've chosen to face challenges with this attitude:  prove me.  I can handle it.  I will make it through, and in spite of it all I will become more like the person God wants me to be.  I am his child, therefore I have the potential to become like him (Romans 8:16-18)

Peace, Be Still

      We all have moments of trial, struggle, fear, hopelessness.  During these moments where do we turn, what do we do?  For me, it is usually a good long run, to leave it all behind for an hour or so, get time to clear my head and try to tackle it again when I'm in a better state of mind.  This is my ideal situation, though most of the time I don't have the means to just drop everything and run.  During these times I find myself a slave to emotions such as distress and hopelessness.  Everything comes crashing down all at once, or so it seems. 
      During one of these such moments in the MTC, I had a very caring teacher share some wonderful information with me.  He showed me the picture I've attached below, Peace, Be Still by Simon Dewey.  In this picture Christ had just been asked by his disciples, "Carest thou not that we perish?" Mark 4:38-39 The winds, the waves, the rain, all of the elements were upon them and they thought they surely would perish.  And just as they turn to the Lord and plea for help, he calms the sea.  What peace I felt as this teacher explained this story.  "Sometimes we have trials and by no means are they easy, but I like to think of it this way:  We have to first be given the storms so that, in time, Christ can pull us through, or calm the storm.

    During difficult times, I'm often at fault of relying on myself.  When the time comes and I can humble myself enough to turn to God in prayer, and rely on Christ to be my guide, I do receive the peace I need and the comfort I want.  I'm grateful for the experience I had and the care someone took to help me understand how I can and should bring Christ into my life more.  For anyone reading this that is or has ever felt these feelings of fear, doubt, loneliness, despair and hopelessness during difficult times, it is my wish that you can take comfort from Christ.  He is always there, we need only seek him.

Labor Diligently

Awhile back I received a wonderful story from my brother about his family.  As I read this story I found myself thinking about our journey here on earth, the choices we make, and the things God has asked us to do.  This is the story.
     My 4 year old nephew was making his debut in mutton busting, a fun minor event held during some rodeos for children.  The event entitles them riding a sheep around the area.  Their objective is simple: stay on the sheep.  My little nephew was as excited as could be!  So were his parents.  His mom gave him coaching before she had to leave him to find a seat in the stands.  "Grab my hair, pull hard, that is as hard as I want you to grab the sheep's hair when you ride so you won't fall off.  Do you understand?" 
    "Yes mommy.  I understand.  I won't fall off, I want to win."  was the reply.
     My nephew was the youngest and smallest rider that day and my brother knowing how he learns put him on his shoulders to watch and see examples.  He watches as some of the kids came back crying, limping, holding their arms, dirt in their eyes.  As a parent, my brother was worried he might get second thoughts, but took it as an opportunity to let my nephew know what some of the consequences might be.
   My nephew replied by wanting off his shoulders, saying he was ready to ride and win.  Prior to his ride the last 15 were all bust rides and barely made it out of the gate.  My brother overheard some of the judges say, "there is no way he will stay on, he's so small."  I'm sure in this moment my brother was thinking,  "You don't know my son."
    The gate opened and the sheep leap out of the chute, he tried to buck him off by my nephew stayed dead center keeping his balance.  As he made it to the center of the arena, the crowd cheered watching in disbelief.  The sheep ran faster trying to shake him off, but he stayed centered.  As they both made it to the other end of the arena the crowd roared.  Then all of the sudden he let go of the sheep.  My brother listened in disbelief as he was .012 seconds from qualifying.  He had places 4th.  My nephew watched as the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place kids got their medals and he asked his mom, where is my medal?
   The reply came, "You let go of the sheep so you didn't win a medal this time."  I will forever be in awe of the response of this young 4 year old.  "Oh next time I won't let go so I can win."  In their coaching, his parents both forgot to instruct him not to let go until someone pulls him off the sheep.  But he didn't think twice about crying or throwing a fit.  In his mind it was simply, "Okay, I messed up this time.  I will fix it and win the next time around."
     What a wonderful lesson I was taught.  I too have a loving Father in Heaven, who has given me an objective:  come to earth, receive a body, make choices, and return to live with me.  Throughout life, I've received coaching from my parents, my leaders, and the living prophet.  My goal and commitment have been the same as my nephew's, "I understand, I won't fall off, I want to win."
    I've seen many examples of life and the temptations and trials we might end up facing, but because I chose this plan  I will follow through with it.  I am ready to ride and win.  Along the way there have been and will be many things trying to say I can't make it but I know I have a cheering section behind me with more than enough support.  As longs as I hold on tight, knuckles white, the prize can be mine.  Though sometimes this is not the case.  Just as my nephew was confused about the end goal, sometimes we too forget and let go.  God give us second chances and he gives us hope, through our Savior.  With his help we an overcome our weaknesses and try again.  Remember the words of my nephew, "Oh I messed up this time,  I will fix it and win the next time around."
   I love the words of encouragement from a father to his son during perhaps the most difficult of times during their lives which is found in the Book of Mormon.
        "Let us labor diligently..for we have a labor to perform...that we may conquer the enemy of all righteousness and rest our souls in the kingdom of God."  Moroni 9:6
        God does love us.  His plan is perfect, in his mercy, he has given us our Savior, Jesus Christ.  The power of the Atonement is real.  There is a way.

The Best is Yet to Be!

    As the new year is upon us I am always reminded of the wonderful counsel from Elder Holland:  The best is yet to be!  This is not to discredit all the good that has happened or wonderful memories of the last year.  It is a simple reminder that there is more.  The FUTURE!
    There was a time where I was living in the past.  The past of wonderful time.  Some might think "this isn't a bad thing."  It's true.  We have memories for a reason.  They help us reflect, but during this time I was living in the past.  In doing this I wasn't giving credit to all that was going on around me.  Ultimately I missed out on some wonderful opportunities.  At this stage of the talk, Elder Holland teaches, I was Lot's wife:  someone who lacked the confidence that the Lord has something greater in store for me than what I was currently living.  Christ cautions us:  Remember Lot's wife.  (Luke 17:32)
    We should embrace the changes around us and remember the BEST is yet to be!  This bit of knowledge keeps me going through all times.  Times of difficulty:  this is not the ideal situation, someone may have caused me sorrow, I might have been the cause of sorrow for another, challenges might come that seem unfair, bad news may be received, things may at times seem too difficult to face.  These indeed aren't great or even good, and thank goodness for it they were "great" can you imagine a few degrees higher for the best?  No, these trials will pass and you will receive those good time, those great times, and even the BEST of times!
     In moments of good, rewards, promotion, success, happiness all seems well and right.  I am indeed greatful for these times as they are yet only a taste of the best.  As for me, I have a hard time comprehending my happiest moments and thinking there is more, but what a goal in mind!  My "best" is when I'll b e reunited with my family, loved ones, and most importantly, my God in the Celestial Kingdom.  I add my own witness to that of Elder Holland, the best IS yet to be, I just know it!
    Here is a little quote that has helped me through those times when I find myself holding on to the good and not wanting to reach further.
     "Progress always involves risk.  You can't steal second bast while keeping your feet on first"
                                                                                                      Fredrick B Wilcox

Good News

      Little bit late, but it's still before the new year right?  At the end of this Christmas season we celebrate and remember the birth of Christ, our Savior and Redeemer.  What a wonderful gift we and all mankind were given.  I love the scripture in Luke when Gabriel comes and proclaims to the shepherds, "Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.  For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour which is Christ the Lord." Luke 2:10-11 (http://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/luke/2?lang=eng)
      Christ truly is the great tiding and great joy.  And to take it a step further, his birth was 'great tidings' and his gospel is good news.  This good news has been a guide in my life, as long as I have sought it.  Through faith in Christ I have gained hope and seen a better life.  My faith has helped to humble and remind me of all  Christ has done for me.  I know He lives, and because of Him I will live again after death on earth.  I know He has suffered all so that if I use his atoning powers I need, I need not suffer.  I'm grateful for the Atonement and the blessed opportunity we have to repent, to remember Christ and to try again to be better.  I know this is possible through baptism and after baptism through the Sacrament.  As we continue acting on our faith and repenting, we have the promised guidance of the Holy Ghost.  Through this influence I am able to hold on a little longer, day by day, through challenges.  Because of this knowledge I'm excited to endure to the end.  I know the good news and can see the goal in sight.

Onward and Upward

      The title of this blog has been inspired from one of my sisters.  At the end of every letter she signs me off "onward and upward, sister, in the service of the Lord." I've always been one for mottos and this one seems very fitting as a missionary but further more as a child of God.  I've better come to understand what it means to be a child of God through the Plan of Salvation.  (To learn more visit http://mormon.org/beliefs/plan-of-salvation)
      In short, we lived with God, our Heavenly Father before we were born.  He, as a loving father, wanted the best for us.  In order to become like Him, we needed to come to this earth, gain a body, and have experiences.  According to our actions here on earth, we would qualify, with the wonderful help of Christ, to live with our Father once more.  What a blessing this chunk of knowledge has been in my life.  Without this plan, without this guide during this very difficult life, it would be meaningless and quire frankly dark.
    The Gospel of Jesus Christ along with the Plan of Salvation is the greatest light anyone could ever have in their life.  With this understanding that I've gained over the years, I've chosen to set my sights high, onward and upward, toward heaven.  Onward is where I look and step everyday and upward is where my destination lies.